Thursday, February 25, 2010

Triple Salchow Smackdown

Tonight is the women's figure skating final at the Vancouver Olympics. If, like me, you geek it up at this moment every four years—and have ever since the "Battle of the Carmens" between Katarina Witt and Debi Thomas at the 1988 Olympics—you'll be glued to your set to watch the little pixies throw down on ice.

(1988 Olympic podium: Witt and Thomas fight over Georges Bizet (and gold).)

Swept up in the figure skating fervor, Paste staffers created a list of eleven dream songs for their own Olympic routines—if any of them had the chops to complete more than a single rotation in skates.

(Assistant Paste editor Mike Saba, who requests Phil Collins' "Mama" for his free skate)

Paste editor Rachel Maddux swears that only Sigur Ros' "Gobbledigook" will do for her triple lutz, while managing editor Nick Marino takes a more mainstream approach, requesting Cher's fabulous "Believe." 

Oddly, no skaters in this Olympics have chosen any indie music for their routines. We have yet to see Evgeni Plushenko drop a quad to Animal Collective's "My Girls" or Rachel Flatt do a camel spin to Royksopp's "Happy in Here." How sad. Now, don't get me wrong. I loved the Canadian ice dancers' gold-medal performance to Mahler, but every now and again, a bit of experimentation is in order.

(A well-shod Johnny Weir)

In Monday night's ice dancing final, the Scottish brother/sister pair of Kerr and Kerr performed their final skate to Linkin Park, prompting me to look at a calendar and pinch myself to see if I'd fallen into some late-90s time warp where rap-rockers like Linkin Park and Limp Bizkit rule the airwaves. Fortunately, no. And strangely, the music worked for the routine, proving that even dreck can become "arty" with the help of stunning visuals.

(Edgy sibling angst! For the record, I can't imagine skating this way with my brother.)

My figure skating music of choice? Bjork's "It's Oh So Quiet." Never mind that my ice skating abilities haven't been tested since a fifth-grade field trip to the local skating rink.

Bjork - It's Oh So Quiet
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  1. Good choice. However, I'd have to go with Pavement's "Conduit for Sale" as I fall all over the ice.

    "I'm trying. I'm trying. I'm trying..."

  2. I like your positive attitude. You're trying...and you'll try.

  3. Sorry, but you couldn't use this. Methinks vocals aren't allowed for singles figure skating in the Olympics, but they are for ice dancing.

  4. Rules, schmules! I can't figure skate anyway, so it's a nonissue. In my perfect world, I'd be able to spin a triple toe loop to Bjork.

  5. Would you by any chance be clad in a little green leprechaun outfit? Johnny W. might not like the competition.